Self-worth vs. self-confidence
I recently began studying the difference between self-confidence and self-worth and was a little surprised at the results.
SELF-WORTH: the internal, identity-driven, deep rooted belief that you are enough and worthy of love and belonging, just as you are.
SELF-CONFIDENCE: while also an internal trait, is usually linked to your assessment of how you compare to the outside world.
HERE’S WHY THIS MATTERS:
Self-confidence can be taught. It’s external and subject to change basted on the amount of hours practiced and is a performance-based trait.
Self-worth, on the other hand, is an inside job. This has nothing to do with what’s in your bank account or a performance review. Self-worth is based on your identity and is foundational in growth so that your validation doesn’t come from anything or anyone but the knowing you are worthy of belonging, love and community. Just as you are.
Why does this matter at work?
When someone doesn't understand their value of worth, they don't understand that they make powerful choices that impact the entire team. If that person feels powerless or worthless, they are often driven by fear of what people think, fear of losing control, fear of looking foolish and fear is a very poor motivator for making good choices at work and in life.
Most people won't say, "Wow, I feel worthless. Help me, I'm broken," in the middle of a one one one with their boss. Most people hide these thoughts OR they aren't even aware that those thoughts are driving the ship. These thoughts are called an Automatic Negative Thought. And guess what:
If a leader is unconsciously believing a lie, or an automatic thought driven by fear, insecurity, low self-worth, it will impact the entire culture of that organization. These sneaky thoughts are seeds that grow into full blown crisis’ at work, impacting hundreds and sometimes thousands of people.
According to Bob Hasson and Danny Silk, co-authors of “Business of Honor: Restoring the Heart of Business”,
“Many people in business, including leaders, feel insecure about who they are, and as a result, they feel powerless, mistrust people, refuse to show vulnerability and honesty, make bad decisions, avoid confrontation and responsibility, and end up undermining relationships.
Cultivating the mindsets and behaviors of courage, trust, power and wealth allows us to move toward people with honor.
Learning to overcome fear, embrace our identity and cultivate honor creates a total shift in the beliefs, motivation and values of our heart.”
ANTS around identity, self-worth and value are almost exclusively driven by fear.
Here’s a couple quick questions to ask yourself, to see if your (or your teammates) ANTS could be steering the ship:
Do you or your team struggle to have honest conversations around problems and solutions to the problems?
Is it difficult for your teammates or for you to be transparent when someone has made a mistake?
Is the culture one that walks the long road to restoration when someone screws up, or is your company culture a punitive space?
On a scale of one to ten, is there alot, a little or NO political game playing at work?
Do people on your team lack the ability to take responsibility and follow through? Is there a lot of blame-shifting or almost none?
Does your organization allow bullying or bad behavior with little to no restorative measures?
If you answered yes to these, it’s likely you have someone on the team who struggles with mindsets that are prohibiting their and your team’s full potential.
Don’t let fear, low self-worth and confidence steer the ship. If you’re ready to learn how to lead your team to discover and discard those ants, be sure to apply to our Becoming Bold Cohort starting on September 26th!